Philosophising

Sorry, this one got a little deep and meaningful but it was more for my benefit - read on if you want the pants bored off you though!

I have been wondering what percentage of people truly love what they do. There would be many, I think, who like their occupation but few who are passionate about it. And unfortunately the people who do love their jobs seem to spend their entire life doing their job and forgetting to live.

I don't think I will ever love my job - I am not good enough at it. Good teachers are an amazing phenomenon, you just can't replicate what they do no matter how much you might observe them and steal their tricks (like I have). It's something in the way that they think and operate as well the actual practice and delivery of teaching. I have picked and criticised my own teaching to bits but I don't think it has helped me to improve, which is all I want right now - just to be better.

So the question is, if I can't be a great teacher then what do I want? Do I seek satisfaction outside of work and accept that I am just doing a job, nothing more? I love making music with other people but I've never done that particularly well either, which of course doesn't mean that I can't enjoy it, it just means that I'll never be paid for it :)

Dammit, why can't we all be brilliant?! Because, duh, then everyone would be brilliantly ordinary.